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Thread: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

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    Default Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Hi All! I've been reading this thread for tips and suggestions, but I wanted to post to see if anyone has any additional thoughts. . .

    I'm new to Miami from Los Angeles, single professional, 40, and living in Coconut Grove. I'm really liking Coconut Grove, but having trouble finding new friends. I'm not so much of a club girl, and I've tried meetup. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Its a bit intimidating for a new person in town. . .

    Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
    Last edited by LAGirlinMiami; 02-20-2013 at 07:03 PM.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Hi LA Girl! Welcome to the forums!

    I know it can be hard to make friends when you first move. I moved here without knowing anyone also. I made friends through exercising, such as yoga class and the gym, so I'm not sure if you work out but that's alwas a good start. In fact, y favorite running store is in Coconut Grove, and they have a runners club you could join? It is called The Florida Running Store.

    If that isn't your thing, I also met people in local bars. But I mean, middle of the day, Montys kind of vibe, not late night at the college bars.

    The Grove has a great library where you may find new friends.

    Plus maybe we will host another meet up, it's been quite a while since 411 did that.

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    Moderator mirna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Hi LAGirlinMiami! Meetup.com worked great for me when I relocated in Miami. I also found a great church in Coral Gables where they organized events and dinners for everyone.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    I feel like Jess has a great idea, when I used to spend a lot of time in Coconut Grove I met tons of people, that seems like a great location to get to know people both inside places, and outside as well, it's a nice area with a lot of outdoor activities.

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    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    What do you do for work, if you don't mind my axeking? I axe because if you have time getting some kind of part-time job that involves interation with people is a great way to make friends here too.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Hi Matt and thank you to everyone who replied and gave me great suggestions!!

    I am a legal consultant, with a demanding job and fairly long hours. But I also work from home, which makes my interaction with other Miami locals super limited. . . . So, I think getting a part time job sounds like an interesting idea, but I don't think with my current full time job that would work, unfortunately.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    You can also look into volunteering, less demanding than a paying part time, and usually the other people who volunteer are kind, or at least some what sociable.

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    Senior Member Blackford Oakes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Coconut Grove is a nice place to settle into, however it kinda turns into a little " Westwood" East on weekend nights.

    I've had luck striking up chit-chat with cool locals that live there while at breakfast at Le Bouchon.

    One thing also easy to notice to in town are some nice public recreation that also offers great opportinities to mingle.

    When I'm in town, I'm not too far from you and have also noticed a reluctance of locals wanting to start up a chat or even acknowledhge you or even say, Hi. Very Strange. Suppose almost everyone here has their guard up more here than in LA.

    With time, you'll notice that even less as acclimate yourself more to the cadences of the local pysche. This town after all finds any excuse to party. Maybe it's just a matter of time you catch yourself in one of those grooves.

    If you like your job, by no way you should quit for the reasons you mentioned. It's not worth it. It'll come.

    I like your handle. Can only imagine how Matt would rip me if I changed my name to; LAGUYINMIAMI. lol

    I'm a native Angeleno and we have a good number of members from CA on this site. Can relate to what you may be going through. As I've said before, it's a transitory state of mind.
    Gus likes this.

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    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    A lot of that lack of conversation comes from the language barrier too. Many just flat out don't speak enough English to say hello. Actually, that sort of random banter is something I really miss in Miami, since most clerks and the like you deal with on a daily basis don't even speak enough English to tell me my total in numbers I understand.

    The cultural barrier is tough too. As an American, you're not part of the dominant culture and therefore finding common bonds with people is much harder. This isn't a friendly town to begin with, even worse when you're already an outsider. It's doable, but difficult.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Meltzer View Post
    A lot of that lack of conversation comes from the language barrier too. Many just flat out don't speak enough English to say hello. Actually, that sort of random banter is something I really miss in Miami, since most clerks and the like you deal with on a daily basis don't even speak enough English to tell me my total in numbers I understand.

    The cultural barrier is tough too. As an American, you're not part of the dominant culture and therefore finding common bonds with people is much harder. This isn't a friendly town to begin with, even worse when you're already an outsider. It's doable, but difficult.
    The cultural barrier exists for both sides! As a stranger that is visiting a multicultural country such as the USA, I'm surprised to see that there aren't efforts from both sides to integrate with each other. I heard many American people complain that they don't understand Spanish but nobody tries to learn it. The same thing is valid for Spanish people, as well. Isn't it more stimulating to learn and speak another language instead of being isolated?
    So, I think that signing up for a Spanish course is a good idea to get to know people and to integrate himself in Miami
    Last edited by daisychick; 03-02-2013 at 10:34 PM.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    banter - great word , similair to "haver "
    LA woman , your only 40 your new to Miami - you have plenty of time - just wait " whats for you ,wont go past you "

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    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    daisychick, the simple answer to that is "no."

    Something Europeans don't seem to get about Americans - or get and just don't like - is that we pretty much don't feel the need to bother ourselves with other languages or cultures, because our culture pretty much dominates the world.

    So if you come here, learn our language. It's that simple. We don't care to learn yours because we don't have to. And that's just kinda how Americans are.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    What a bore! The same old answer!
    I don't say to learn useless languages such as Italian but you live in Miami and I'm sorry, but I noticed that your culture doesn't dominate here!! And, as the dear Evolution theory said, "only the fittest will survive".
    I don't want be polemic. It's just for talking... but you have noticed some problems for living in Miami, isn't it?An Italian adage says "He/She has more brains, use them". Learning Spanish is just a way to problem solving. And you are right...most solutions are very boring, I'm sorry. :P
    Last edited by daisychick; 03-03-2013 at 08:41 PM.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Daisychick, I would argue that far more americans speak other languages and are culturally aware than the rest of the world would like to think or give credit. I get that the stereotype of Americans is largely true, but we DO have over 300 million people in this country.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Quote Originally Posted by fake_sunglasses View Post
    Daisychick, I would argue that far more americans speak other languages and are culturally aware than the rest of the world would like to think or give credit. I get that the stereotype of Americans is largely true, but we DO have over 300 million people in this country.
    Sure!I don't doubt about the knowledge of USA's people. My argument is about Miami where I objectively seen the presence of a strong cultural barrier that only few people want to cut down. English is the official world language, it's true. It should be more logical that all people speak English only, but when that don't happen and when there is an objective problem, the smart people have to find a solution to live better.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    When my grandparents came to this country they made a point learning the English language.. When growing their kids up they made a point of instilling the English language in their everyday life,including school,outside play and if we're caught speaking Italian were punished... My grandparents wanted to assimilate into the culture ,which was very important to them... I believe many problems in society are from the failure of many groups failing to assimilate into the American culture..

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Your grandparents have chosen the right way,the integration.
    My friend's son, borned in Italy but living in Miami, are perfectly integrated. They speak 3 language, English (at school and with friends), Spanish (thanks the mother) and Italian (thanks the father). All conversations are open for this family. There isn't need to forget own origin to integrate ourselves, according to me.

    I don't say that all the USA have to speak stranger languages!The stranger has to adapt to the hosting country, I'm very very agree! But, objectively, a bilingual person has more chance at Miami...and in the World!
    My suggestion is always the integration! Because LAGirl speaks English I suggest the Spanish course. If she was Spanish, I will suggest an English course. Is it so horrible to be bilingual and understand each other?We can say that the Spanish people has the biggest fault, ok. How we solved the problem now?
    Last edited by daisychick; 03-04-2013 at 02:21 AM.

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    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Totally get your point, Daisychick. And I don't disagree that it always is BETTER to know more languages. Just saying the attitude among most Americans is that we don't have to. Miami is like nowhere else in the US that way, that we are the minority culture. But we forget there are vast expanses of this country that are very homogenous.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Quote Originally Posted by daisychick View Post
    What a bore! The same old answer!
    I don't say to learn useless languages such as Italian but you live in Miami and I'm sorry, but I noticed that your culture doesn't dominate here!! And, as the dear Evolution theory said, "only the fittest will survive".
    I don't want be polemic. It's just for talking... but you have noticed some problems for living in Miami, isn't it?An Italian adage says "He/She has more brains, use them". Learning Spanish is just a way to problem solving. And you are right...most solutions are very boring, I'm sorry. :P

    Daisychick identified it. The dominating culture here is hispanic. Though there are signs that this country is going to experience a grand asian cultural up-tick, Miami might be spared for a decade or two.

    As Europeans travel well more than we tend to, I think they grasp worldly situations more easily than what home bounders might be led to believe.

    What I don't ascribe to is having a creature from Mumbai learn our language and think we can sustain our global heirarchy without learning theirs.

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    Default Re: Just turned 40, single, and new to Miami

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackford Oakes View Post
    a creature from Mumbai
    Wasn't that an Ed Wood movie?

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