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  1. #1
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    Default Miami Culture Shock

    So I am finishing up my second month in South Miami. I moved down here to attend graduate school at FIU, and let me tell you, I am in culture shock, but not in the way one might think. Yeah Spanish is everywhere but it is the cultural differences that I wasn't expecting.

    First off, let me say, I am a black girl, raised in the white burbs of Orlando. I visually fit in a little better down here than your average white girl as I am often mistaken for Dominican. I have never been asked my ethnic background so many times in my life. That is SUCH a big deal down here and honestly I am a bit of a mish mash ethnicities none of which I was raised with the traditions of. I have Orlando culture, which is basically non at all. We eat at your standard chain restaurants, speak English, don't really dance anywhere but a wedding and have very small Thanksgiving dinners because just about everyone in Orlando is from some other city, and left their families behind. I wouldn't know most of my 2nd and 3rd relatives if I passed them on the street as most of them are still up north and haven't seen me since I was a baby.That concept seems to be difficult for my new Miami friends to get their heads around since their ENTIRE family lives in the same city if not the same house.

    Also, what is up with the "hood rich" thing? Both of the good friends I have made since I have been here have extremely modest living conditions, one as a matter of fact still lives with her parents. The guy I've been seeing casually, lives in a efficiency behind someone's house yet drives a very expensive Mercedes. When we first met, he threw money around like it was nothing, after he got more comfortable he literally could do nothing but talk about how broke he was.....this is extremely puzzling. It seems as though it is the norm down here to complain about how broke you are from the front seat of your benz....odd. In other cities, if you're broke, you have the beat up Cavelier to prove it. It's like a society of posers who drink "Black Label" and throw money around at clubs but live with their mothers in tiny houses. Oh, and don't get me started on the men who think they're entitled to had and foot service from you just because their men and you're a woman.
    What gives?

  2. #2
    Member sungal's Avatar
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    This supports a lot of what Matt Meltzer writes about the Latin poplulation. He addresses the issues you mention in his articles, and I think you'd enjoy reading them. As for "hood rich" I think you can find that in every city, but maybe a bit more here where image is everything.

    When I lived at home, I had 100% disposable income. I bought so many designer bags and clothes, travelled, spent tons of money going out...I miss those days to be honest!! People can be living at home to save money for various reasons, and especially in this economy.

    As for the ethnicity question, just say "I'm a mutt", or "I'm a mix". Maybe you look exotic to them and they're curious. But if someone you barely no asks, I see no reason to give them a long, detailed answer. Especially since it's none of their business in initial conversations. Tell people you fell like telling. Orlando culture seems bland if you ask me, I think it will be great to experience here what you missed in Orlando. Especially in the dancing and dining categories!

    The world would be a boring place if it were the same everywhere. It's always great to experience different places and cultures.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Blackford Oakes's Avatar
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    Are these hispanic guys asking you about race ? I wouldn't think so because if you are a spanish speaker, you'd be able to tell what country you're from as soon as you open your mouth.

  4. #4
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    Miami has one of the largest "$30K Millionaire" populations in the country. Google them if you don't know what they are.....

  5. #5
    Editor Carlos Miller's Avatar
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    About the asking of the culture, don't take it so personal because it is just a way of people trying to bond with you.

    I get that asked all the time and when I do, it's because people are genuinely interested in getting to know me.

    Most of the people here are immigrants and many more of us are children of immigrants, so we are very connected to other cultures.

    It's not like other cities where you are several generations removed from your immigrant ancestors, so you're essential a diluted American.

    As far as the hood rich thing, that is a big problem down here. This is a very superficial city and many people are trying to be somebody they are not.

    I think part of it goes back to the high number of immigrants who come here and expect streets paved of gold.

    Growing up here, I found a lot of women who grew up poor or middle-class were very demanding of superficial things like the car a man drives and the clothes he wears and the money he throws around - so many men fall into the trap of posing.

    After living in other places around the world, I discovered that this is mostly a Miami thing. Even in Southern California, which is supposedly so stuck up - and where there is real wealth - many people try to downplay this rather than throw it in your face.

    But let me ask you. If the guy you are dating did not throw money around and did not drive a Mercedes, would you be going out with him now?

  6. #6
    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Carlos, I found LA to be 100 times more superficial than Miami. But perhaps we ran in different crowds...

    Great post, ORL. Not only did you capture the essence of nothingness that is Orlando, but you also show the culture shock many don't quite comprehend when they come to Miami. Now you see why so many people leave within a few years. Keep us posted on your adventures here. Sounds like you are having the Miami experience that people don't expect, but almost always have.

  7. #7
    Editor Carlos Miller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Meltzer
    Carlos, I found LA to be 100 times more superficial than Miami. But perhaps we ran in different crowds...

    Great post, ORL. Not only did you capture the essence of nothingness that is Orlando, but you also show the culture shock many don't quite comprehend when they come to Miami. Now you see why so many people leave within a few years. Keep us posted on your adventures here. Sounds like you are having the Miami experience that people don't expect, but almost always have.
    That's true. I tend not to run in superficial crowds.

  8. #8
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    But let me ask you. If the guy you are dating did not throw money around and did not drive a Mercedes, would you be going out with him now?
    In answer to your question Carlos, I absolutely would have gone out with him if he didn't drive a Mercedes. I would actually have more respect for him if he didn't because he obviously is bad with money, considering he is over 35 has a pretty decent job, rents an effciency, yet has that expensive car, not to mention Air Jordan shoes in just about every color of the rainbow.

    However, that is irrelevant now as we are no longer seeing each other. He turned out to be a total freak. I won't elaborate too much but when I guy wants to choke you in bed and can't even afford dinner beforehand, it's time to move on.

    One thing I have also come to realize about my new native Miami friends (not to offend anyone, I know these are blanket statements and there are exceptions)is that I get the feeling that they haven't left Miami...I dunno....EVER. My 37 year old date actually asked me if we had "this type of music" in Orlando when we were listening an FM hip-hop station. I'm like "Um yeah Clear Channel is basically the same in any city where most people still have their teeth.

    Matt I have read a lot of your posts and articles on here. Before I moved here I read a lot of your stuff and just thought maybe you were an angry exaggerating biggot, but I find that just about everything you write is TOTALLY TRUE. I have been here about three months and while its been fun, I doubt I'll be staying here. I read your dating artile and it was great. From the female perspective,just finding a decent guy to date, has proven relatively impossible. Not to toot my own horn but I have been told once or twice that I "Have it going on" but the guys I've met down here seem to all

    1. Have visible tattoos

    2. Can't tell you their profession in exact words ie. They "have their own business" are "in promotions" etc.

    3. Balk at the very idea of doing anything that doesn't involve marijuana.

    4. Have been arrested for fighting

    I am actually sitting here alone writing this on a Saturday night because I am getting so sick of it. I am actually beginning to appreciate the clean cut albeit boring guys in Tampa and Orlando.

    Also, I NEVER thought that I would become one of those "This is America, speak American" type of people, but it is actually pretty ridiculous that I can go to Publix near FIU and not hear ONE WORD of English. I am a black girl who grew up in white suburbia, yet I have never felt more like an outsider in my life. Anywho, I know this is getting long...just needed to vent.

  9. #9
    Editor Carlos Miller's Avatar
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    Really, girl, you're just asking too much. I was about to tell you that I did not fall into any of the categories you listed (I've even traveled extensively), but then I read # 4, so I'm guilty as charged.

    But I do agree that if a man wants to choke you in bed, he should at least buy you dinner first.

  10. #10
    Editor Carlos Miller's Avatar
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    Perhaps Miami is not for you. Maybe it's just a little too foreign for you.

    If you notice in the other thread, many people are drawn to the foreignness of Miami. They like the fact that this is as foreign as you can get without actually leaving the continental United States.

    http://forums.miamibeach411.com/inde...ewthread/5883/

    And as far as men go, you're probably looking in the wrong places. We're not all uneducated, ignorant potheads. Although we probably party harder than any other city in the country.

    If you check out Meetup.com, you can find loads of groups that cater to every interest. Perhaps they have one that suits your needs. If shouldn't be too hard to find other frustrated people down here.

  11. #11
    Jim
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    What's that Bass Pro Shop on I-95 near Ft Lauderdale?
    That's where ya go look for your kinda guys...I was in there the other day and there were all
    kind of guys in there and some of them were actually speaking english.

  12. #12
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    Wow... that guy was an ass.

    Vent all you like, I'm sorry Miami is not turning out too well for you right now. Where are you meeting these guys?

  13. #13
    Editor Carlos Miller's Avatar
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    Come to next Saturday's blogger meetup. Most of us don't have police records. And most of us speak English.

    http://forums.miamibeach411.com/inde...ewthread/5860/

  14. #14
    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    OH MY GOD I F-ING LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!

    Really it's so funny to me when people think I'm racist, then come here, then realize I'm not racist, I'm just stating how it is. I'm not lying when I say American people used to come up to me at Publix and tell me I put into words how they'd felt for years. And they were not bigots at all. But THANK YOU.

    Also, you are hanging out in West Dade, it seems from your post, which is really a big cesspool of Miami trash. I mean, really, yes, that's what most guys out there are like. Miami is FULL of trash, and the further west you go, the less englinsh you hear and the more trash you encounter. Don't worry. There ARE better guys in Miami. But they are hard to find.

    And really, I love choking. And I've found plenty of girls who enjoy it and don't expect dinner beforehand. What the f__k does paying for your food have to do with what you like in bed? Good sex is good sex. How much money was spent is irrlelvant. Unless you're in Thailand.

  15. #15
    Member sungal's Avatar
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    Matt,

    She's just annoyed that he didn't take her on a proper date. Although these days apparently that's too much to ask. At least you ditched him!

    Orl,
    Where are you hanging out that this is the sort of guy you meet? I agree with you on points 1 and 2, but tatoos don't bother me.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Meltzer
    OH MY GOD I F-ING LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!

    Really it's so funny to me when people think I'm racist, then come here, then realize I'm not racist, I'm just stating how it is. I'm not lying when I say American people used to come up to me at Publix and tell me I put into words how they'd felt for years. And they were not bigots at all. But THANK YOU.

    Also, you are hanging out in West Dade, it seems from your post, which is really a big cesspool of Miami trash. I mean, really, yes, that's what most guys out there are like. Miami is FULL of trash, and the further west you go, the less englinsh you hear and the more trash you encounter. Don't worry. There ARE better guys in Miami. But they are hard to find.

    And really, I love choking. And I've found plenty of girls who enjoy it and don't expect dinner beforehand. What the f__k does paying for your food have to do with what you like in bed? Good sex is good sex. How much money was spent is irrlelvant. Unless you're in Thailand.
    you're hillarious

  17. #17
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    I totally felt the same way about Matt's posts when I first moved here (and if you haven't discovered WD yet, you're missing out...) but now I read and laugh as no matter how blunt he is, he is usually right on the mark :coolsmirk:

  18. #18
    Travel Advisor fredgarvin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jess
    I totally felt the same way about Matt's posts when I first moved here (and if you haven't discovered WD yet, you're missing out...) but now I read and laugh as no matter how blunt he is, he is usually right on the mark :coolsmirk:
    Jess, sorry to sound stupid but what is WD?

    Thanks!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by fredgarvin
    Quote Originally Posted by Jess
    I totally felt the same way about Matt's posts when I first moved here (and if you haven't discovered WD yet, you're missing out...) but now I read and laugh as no matter how blunt he is, he is usually right on the mark :coolsmirk:
    Jess, sorry to sound stupid but what is WD?

    Thanks!
    Just some stuff he used to do before 411... :coolsmile:

  20. #20
    Gus
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    Quote Originally Posted by fredgarvin
    Quote Originally Posted by Jess
    I totally felt the same way about Matt's posts when I first moved here (and if you haven't discovered WD yet, you're missing out...) but now I read and laugh as no matter how blunt he is, he is usually right on the mark :coolsmirk:
    Jess, sorry to sound stupid but what is WD?

    Thanks!
    Fred, click the "WWW" button on Matt's profile page.

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