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  1. #1
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    Default I failed but want to come back to Miami

    Hi everyone!!

    I am a 24 years old girl from France and lived in South Beach from January till the end of April.
    I was living in Flamingo with my best friend.
    Everything was fine. We were planning on opening a small business in Miami (that's why we came to Miami in the first place).
    We both had a student visa (then we would have applied for an E2 visa of course) and were going to an ESL school. We started looking for a location for our business since everything was ready (money, business plan, lawyer, papers, suppliers, etc).
    Anyway, things turned out bad. My friend was freaking out and was feeling so homesick that he decided to go back home in March.
    In February, I met a guy who later became my boyfriend. At the beginning he was such a nice person. But when my friend left, he showed his true colors!! He was abusive and I lost everything. I mean EVERYTHING!! My money, my apartment, my friends, my dignity…He hit me, raped me, stole all my money. I was crying all the time and was so ashamed to walk in South Beach as I looked like sh**!! I was worn out physically and emotionally!!! At some point I just wanted to die. I was thinking about suicide... He just destroyed me.
    I had to vacate my apartment as I couldn't pay the rent and didn't find someone to take over my lease, and therefore lost my last month rent and my deposit. I finally went back to France.

    I am currently living in NYC (I used to live here for 2 years before coming to Miami). I love NYC but I feel like coming back to South Beach in January.
    I am working as a waitress now (under the table) and the money is really good.
    But I don't know if I'll find a job as a waitress in South Beach in January…(I also have experience as a bartender in the city)?
    I still have a student visa though, so I have to work under the table...I know it's hard to work without a SSN on the beach, but I knew some people with student visas (even with no visa, just tourists or illegals) who worked as waiters/waitresses/hostesses.

    Also I might sound stupid but I feel so old at 24. Not that I am looking old, but I don't know, I just feel like girls who work as bartenders/waitresses on the beach are so young (18-22)...Like when I hit 25, I'll be in South Beach (no job, no more party...)!! I am like obsess with age anyway. Stupid me.

    Thank you all!!
    (I am sorry for my English)

  2. #2
    rk
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    Senior Member rk's Avatar
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    Hi La_Luna,

    I am really sorry to hear about your bad experience. I think 24 (or 25, or 29...) is ridiculously young, and your entire life is in front of you to make of it as you will. I don't know what type of student visa you have, but may I suggest using it to advantage and actually enrolling in college (or grad schoool?) and getting a worthwhile education and degree which will stand you in good stead all the rest of your life. This should give you a time of stability and you can always decide later what you want to branch into.

  3. #3
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    Wow, always drama at The Flamingo huh. Sorry to hear about that.
    Bartenders I know are all ages. The Teds bartenders are late 20s, some are early 30s so I wouldn't worry about your age. Everyone is young in South Beach
    As for moving back, you did it once so you are well ahead of anyone else moving here, you know the area, places to go etc. I'm sure you'll be fine!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Blackford Oakes's Avatar
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    I'm also sorry of how your events unfolded in Miami. If I'm any testament of hard knocks, you'll come out stronger and wiser. Also keep in mind, what ever you accomplish in NYC, you can duplicate or exceed anywhere else in the world.


    Keep you chin up and your horizon will brighten up for sure.

  5. #5
    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    If you think you can learn from your mistakes here, I'd say you can probably come back. Just remember how and why your life went to shit the first time and don't repeat it.

    That being said, RK is right. Your age won't be as important if you have an education. So instead of looking for waitressing or bartending jobs, perhaps you should apply to school down here since you have a student Visa. Like even just Miami-Dade College. With an education, you'll have a lot more job opportunities open up for you.

  6. #6
    Editor Christy's Avatar
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    What a horrible guy! Honestly, you have a lot of bad memories here, and Miami is not the best as far as meeting professional singles for a long term relationship..plus getting a job these days is difficult. What kind of business were you and friend going to start?

    Won't being in Miami bring back bad memories? I love France..it's beautiful!! What about moving to a different area in France for a fresh start? Like St. Tropez- it's practically Miami! I think if you had your family around you, you would have never put up with that abusive guy. And don't feel old at 24. 24 is so not old. 24 is perfect!

  7. #7
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    Thank you all for your support and advice, I really appreciate your kindness!! And Wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!

    @rk & Matt, I went to college in France. But like I said before, I was starting a business with my friend in Miami, that's why we came here.
    And we came with a student visa because it was more convenient for us…
    As for now I just want to make money, and working as a waitress/bartender is the best answer for me, I don't want to get locked into anything. Just make money and figure out my next steps.
    I am just concerned about finding a job on the beach in January? Don't know if it's gonna be easy…

    @Christy
    France is a beautiful country (Great food, amazing culture…) but that's it!! There is no job in France and life is so hard (I am from Paris by the way) and people are so negative!! French mentality is just awful.
    St Tropez only comes to life during summertime with all the tourists, celebrities and parties. It's a really small town, nothing like Miami.
    Before meeting this guy I had a great time in Miami. I met amazing people and was living it up! So yes I do have a lot of bad memories in Miami, but I also have very good ones…I don't think being in Miami will bring back bad memories (I hope so).
    The business we were going to start was a French coffee shop (not on the Beach though). NYC was our first choice but Miami was more attractive money wise (taxes, rent etc).

  8. #8
    Travel Advisor fredgarvin's Avatar
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    Question dunno

    Je ne sais pas.

    Est ce que vous pretes?

    Vous travillez ici avec tres difficle.

    (I took high school french a long time ago-I was trying to say: I don't know.
    Are you ready?
    Finding work here can be very hard)

    But, as we say at The University of Chicago--From the flames come the Phoenix!

    Best of luck!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Blackford Oakes's Avatar
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    La Luna - After a few ass kickings in my life, I always retired to a Jerome Kern tune to brighten my spirits and inspire strength to plough through it. It's my dedication to you this holiday season.


  10. #10
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    Thank you so much Under the sun! I actually have this song on my playlist but haven't listened to it in ages, and it is a pleasure to listen to it again!

    @fredgravin Oui je suis pręte I am ready and willing to take the challenge!

  11. #11
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Hi La Luna! Welcome to our forum family. Thank you for being so candid and sharing. I'm with UTS here, don't let those things get you down. Life is short, you are still a kid, practically ... seize the day and follow your heart.

    I've been there in an abusive relationship (though in some ways not quite as bad as yours, but in some ways it was ... I too was raped) and the last thing you want to do is let that take away your ambitions and joie de vivre. If anything, why give that worthless piece of sh*t the satisfaction?

    I know how hard it is for women because when you are in a situation like that, it can creep up and next thing you know, you can't see the forest from the trees. Lucky for me, I got out pretty early. It was not my typical relationship. He was an anomaly.

    But you know what, I am grateful in some ways because it taught me EVERYTHING I DON'T WANT. It was a hard process but I'm stronger and more resilient for it.

    If I can do it, why not you?

    So take that lesson and run with it. Be grateful for it, even. You got a gift because now you are wiser but still young and can turn things around. Just forgive yourself and move on. Forgiveness is key.

    Set your boundaries in relationships, too -- all of them: friendships, work, love. And if you have issues with co-dependence, go seek some short-term counseling, find a life coach and learn what that's all about. Heck, we can talk about that here, if you like. Only YOU can control your boundaries and your fate in that respect. Don't let anyone disrespect you and the minute you see it coming, GET OUT.

    I think you should give yourself a second chance. The worst thing that can happen is that you bartend for a few months or whatever and then leave. Or maybe you can't get that business off the ground just yet, but maybe in five years ... you just never know what doors might open if you follow your heart! Trust your vision, trust the universe and the whole process.

    I'm 43 and if there's anything I've learned is to live life in a fearless way and don't let *ssholes connect with you and intimidate you. (But don't be stupid either ... use caution when you need to.)


    You had that dream to begin with and you should stick to it. You did not "fail" ... it was just postponed.

  12. #12
    Preferred Member lafemme's Avatar
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    Default Re: I failed but want to come back to Miami

    Hi La Luna,

    I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. I can't even imagine how you must have felt/feel about it. But after reading your thread, I wanted to share a quote from Henry Ford that I have on my desk and at home:

    "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely."

    Don't let anybody define who you are and what you are capable of. YOU, and only YOU have that power. Best of luck in everything.

    -La Femme

  13. #13
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    Oooh, a French coffee shop!! Yes, come back that's a nice idea.

  14. #14
    Travel Advisor fredgarvin's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: I failed but want to come back to Miami

    Quote Originally Posted by La_Luna View Post
    @fredgravin Oui je suis pręte I am ready and willing to take the challenge!
    Bon chance, toujours!

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