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  1. #41
    Travel Advisor fredgarvin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Meltzer
    http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/index.php?/news/comments/vip-hookup/

    There's the link to the guide to spotting BS "promoters."

    Sungal, I think the crowd and the decorations are what make Ted's a Miami experience. You have this mashup of people there, like club goers next to immigrants from all over Latin America and the Caribbean next to tourists next to service industry types next to bitter locals. It's really a crowd you don't find anywhere else. That, and the giant inflatable UM football player in the corner.
    So I went to Ted's about a week ago (friday night). Ocean drive was fairly empty meaning no lines anywhere, but Ted's was packed. That being said, on that one occasion, a busy friday night, it appeared no different than any pseudo biker bar one can see across the country.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    Someone should write an article about the bonafide club promoters -- I don't believe we have anything like that in the news section, do we?
    I was just thinking this. If anyone wants to write this and needs info on other promoters (aside from Shaun and Tommy, who post here) I know tons of legit promoters and can offer email addresses so you can get in touch with them to confirm. Okay, not tons, because there are not really that many good ones, but I know some.

    I think this would be a really, really good resource to have here. Since a large part of the reason many people come to Miami is for the clubs, it would be a great bit of info.

  3. #43
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Matt, I couldn't agree more.

    I hate to be a stickler about this, but the real reason why people go to clubs is because it's a fantasy world they can enjoy for a few hours. There's nothing wrong with that ... but to call club-going in South Beach THE REAL MIAMI is missing the essence of this city. Actually, this is true of ANY city in the world. Clubs do not "represent" cities. They are escapist, elitist and high-priced forms of entertainment. People have to look a certain way and have enough clout or cash to get in the door. This is NOT reality. It is fabricated fantasy

    Tommy even said himself he won't let fat chongas into high-falutin' places. He's not being the Ahole. It's the way of the world when it comes to clubs.

    But you call that reality? Come on! Give me a break. Tommy, I appreciate your honesty. At the end of the day, it's a form of whoring women's sex appeal so that men with heavy pocketbooks want to go ... not the prettiest story but that's reality. Sex sells. And seriously, what kind of women are comfortable with this? I wouldn't be. I'd rather pay for my drinks than be a pawn for Bozo the sugar daddy.

    A club is a big, private, closed-off community. A big room with loud music where everyone wants to get laid or do drugs. Nobody just goes casually to a club because they want to kick back and have a drink and chat. It's a major production. That's part of the appeal.

    Again, nothing wrong with that ... but would we associate this with the "real" of any city? I can show you some bars and places in Miami that are way more real than this and don't go with that agenda.

    Clubs are a very specifically designed type of entertainment experience based on the criteria of the door. It is extremely superficial and undemocratic. Some club owner wants to make good moolah off your willingness to pay up the wazoo for booze just so you can feel "cool" about getting into a place.

    Good grief, I have never been to ANY club in my world travels where I felt it wasn't a freakin' waste of money and time. I have yet to be dazzled or impressed, I don't care how beautiful everyone is or whatever.

    But that's just me. And, again -- nothing wrong with the club experience, just like there's nothing wrong with going to a movie or a play to enjoy something a little different than your daily life. It is what it is. But it's not the real anything. You really have to see it for what it is.

    Matt hit it on the nail. Ted's represents a healthy cross section of people who are allowed to go in without scrutiny of any kind and spend good money on drinks. There is no velvet rope. There is no censorship at a dive bar. You can actually talk to people. Also, longevity: long after Mansion goes through its umpteenth incarnation, Ted's and Club Deuce and other places like those will be still kicking it strong.

    No tourist who comes to MIami Beach ever gets an inkling of what Miami is by simply going to a club and not exploring further afield. If they want the real Miami, they better head to the fine long-standing bars this city has to offer county-wide. But if they want to just spend a few hours having fun in fantasy club land, that's totally cool too ... why not? Vacations are supposed to be fun. Locals go to clubs too, because they want to get away sometimes.

    Both clubs and bars have their places in any city. But you can bet anything that you'll really get to know a place more by hanging out at bars.

  4. #44
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Coach, thanks for the suggestions! I will email Gus and see if he will assign this to one of the contributors here. (I personally don't think I'm the right person -- clearly, I don't like clubs! LOL)


    ;-)

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    I wouldn't be. I'd rather pay for my drinks than be a pawn for Bozo the sugar daddy.

    A club is a big, private, closed-off community. A big room with loud music where everyone wants to get laid or do drugs. Nobody just goes casually to a club because they want to kick back and have a drink and chat. It's a major production. That's part of the appeal.
    Maria, my boyfriend and I go clubbing together. We're not looking for sex (well apart from the sex we have together ;-) ) and we're not doing drugs.

    Believe it or not, we just like to have drinks, dance, and chat.
    And if the drinks are free, thanks to a promoter, all the better.

  6. #46
    Member sungal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    Matt, I couldn't agree more.

    I hate to be a stickler about this, but the real reason why people go to clubs is because it's a fantasy world they can enjoy for a few hours. There's nothing wrong with that ... but to call club-going in South Beach THE REAL MIAMI is missing the essence of this city. Actually, this is true of ANY city in the world. Clubs do not "represent" cities. They are escapist, elitist and high-priced forms of entertainment. People have to look a certain way and have enough clout or cash to get in the door. This is NOT reality.


    Again, nothing wrong with that ... but would we associate this with the "real" of any city?

    No tourist who comes to MIami Beach ever gets an inkling of what Miami is by simply going to a club and not exploring further afield. If they want the real Miami, they better head to the fine long-standing bars this city has to offer county-wide. But if they want to just spend a few hours having fun in fantasy club land, that's totally cool too ... why not? Vacations are supposed to be fun. Locals go to clubs too, because they want to get away sometimes too.

    I'm not saying if you go to a club you will magically discover the REAL Miami. No, It's definately a part of what makes Miami, Miami. Most tourists do not travel from Europe, South America, and parts of the US to go to small bars. They want to experience the world famous nightlife that Miami is known for.

    You have top DJ's, carefully thought out cutting edge decor, innovative cocktails, and it's fun! You get dressed up, maybe you'll make friends...A club is just supposed to be a place to go to spend an evening with friends and have fun. That's it.

    I enjoy going out about once per week. It dosen't define my existince or validate me as a person,.it's just a fun thing to do.

  7. #47
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Sungal and Martine ... all that sounds wonderful! However, it's not wonderful when people get conned because it's such a big deal and major production to get into a club. Were it so easy-peasy, this thread wouldn't even have come up.

    Again, I don't have anything against the theatrical aspect of clubs, nor the form of entertainment. It's a legit way to have fun, to be sure.

    The issue is all the BS and cost involved in getting across the velvet rope. That is a major turn off, especially when you consider that people do pay good money to travel to South Beach precisely for the night life. Tourists should be treated well. And so should everyone willing to shell out good money for entertainment and overpriced drinks. Are you seriously comfortable with the idea that a "fat" girl or "ugly" guy can't get into a club?

    I find that so incredibly shallow and repulsive, even though I understand what the club owners are doing. Why would I patronize such a place? It makes me believe people are not coming to South Beach for the nightlife so much as they are coming here for the image. Club life is make believe land, face it. And again, that's ok. You're paying for it.

    But when you leave the club, you could very well be stepping all over a homeless person who is covered in vomit on the Washington Avenue sidewalk. Back to reality.

    Martine, you are only getting the free drinks if you meet the aesthetic criteria of the club. That's the bottom line. I've been shuffled into clubs past a line when the bouncer said "we need more vaginas." It's only because you have one and because you look good. Otherwise, no dice.

    I wrote an article about South Beach nightlife for a Dutch travel magazine (sorry, only in print). Rest assured I probably would've been turned away with my photographer had I not arranged for press passes. And even that was some big deal, in spite of the fact that I was giving the spots FREE international-level publicity, worth its weight in gold in advertising dollars. It was probably easier to get into the Pentagon. What's the big friggin' deal? The article turned out fabulous, by the way, but honestly, it's not an experience I want to repeat.

    I don't mean to rant so much, but it pisses me off that a well-intentioned visitor got nabbed by a total shyster. Makes Miami look worse, especially when there are legitimate club promoters out there.

  8. #48
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by martine_aimee
    Maria, my boyfriend and I go clubbing together. We're not looking for sex (well apart from the sex we have together ;-) ) and we're not doing drugs.

    Martine -- last time I went to Cameo, there were couples dry-humping by the dance floor. I guess they couldn't wait! It looked like a scene from a swinger's club. Couldn't tell if these were couples who arrived together or newly formed ones at the club. :lol:

  9. #49
    Editor Matt Meltzer's Avatar
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    Yeah, that;s kinda how those clubs work Maria. Lot of dry humping going on there.

    I acutally like the club experience once I'm in. What I don't like is the BS involved with getting in and the asinine drink prices. If I can get in free and have an open bar/flask it, it's a good time. But, much like my feelings about overpriced DJ tickets, there ain't many entertianment experiences worth $100, which is what it would probably cost me to dirnk for a night at one of those clubs. Shit, just paying for Sprites to mix with the voda I bring in usally runs me about $25!

  10. #50
    Member sungal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    Are you seriously comfortable with the idea that a "fat" girl or "ugly" guy can't get into a club?

    I find that so incredibly shallow and repulsive, even though I understand what the club owners are doing. Why would I patronize such a place? It makes me believe people are not coming to South Beach for the nightlife so much as they are coming here for the image.
    One promoter mentioned a special service he offered to only "very pretty" women. He just said unfortunately that's who his service is for. He never said that anyone other than that couldn't get into a club. They're just not able to take advantage of his services.

    Let's not make our readers worry unnecessarily about getting into a club! Especially when we offer great advice to help them..and two great club related articles written by me. :kiss:

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by sungal
    Let's not make our readers worry unnecessarily about getting into a club! Especially when we offer great advice to help them..and two great club related articles written by me. :kiss:
    I agree, 90% of people going to the clubs here are on vacation and want to go to some of the best nightlife in the world, so let's not be so down on our own city!

    And also, here's my 2 cents: it IS the best nightlife in the world because of the MUSIC. Not the glamor and the girls. Yes the 'rules' of entry may not be the best, yes some people pay, some don't. But not many places in the world can party 52 weeks of the yr that this place can, Miami has an amazing reputation for bringing it pretty much every night. Of course clubs don't represent cities, but the nightlife is part of Miami's reputation.

  12. #52
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sungal
    Let's not make our readers worry unnecessarily about getting into a club!
    The nightlife and recreation category wouldn't be half as active if it wasn't people worried about how to get in and what to wear. This thread would've have come up if our friend hadn't been conned. People have a lot of anxiety about getting into clubs, because as Matt pointed out, it really is a pain in the ass. Traveling should be enjoyable. There shouldn't be anxiety where you want to spend your hard earned bucks.

    Sungal, someone recently created a stink about BED because she claims they didn't let her in as she was too fat. Of course it would be a ridiculous lawsuit, the club is private, so they're entitled to decide who gets in or not.

    But still, that's not fun, is it? Most average looking people WANT to enjoy the fabulous nightlife and come here to the forums for info because they're concerned they're not good enough to get through the door, even if they have money to spend. I'm not making this up -- that's the way it is.

    If you are slim, young, beautiful within the South Beach criteria and accustomed to getting into clubs, you may not how anxious people get about this.

    I guess we need to send out one of our "meatier" correspondents to try every club and see who lets in that kind of woman at the door. She should be escorted by an average Joe, too. That would make a great undercover story, actually.

    Or perhaps Tommy could enlighten us -- where can the fat Hialeah chongas and average Joes go in Miami Beach?

  13. #53
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    Yes but Maria, that's the same anywhere. Go out in London, and if you don't look 'right', you aren't getting in. Go out in Ibiza, same thing. And not all clubs in Miami are like that, Space doesn't have a dress code, people were in shorts and flip flops when I went last week. Same for Nikki Beach, I always go in flip flops.

    Some places have strict dress codes, some don't. If people are worried, choose a more relaxed club. And we can help with that!

  14. #54
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    I realize it's that way around the world.

    We should probably come up with a handy, easy-to-read list for every club, don't you think?

    Just a few columns: ie, dress code, body type, age group, difficulty of entry.

    That article about bonafide club promoters would be great too.

  15. #55
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    Does Nikki Beach have a bouncer during the day? Just curious.

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    I realize it's that way around the world.

    We should probably come up with a handy, easy-to-read list for every club, don't you think?

    Just a few columns: ie, dress code, body type, age group, difficulty of entry.

    That article about bonafide club promoters would be great too.
    That is a good idea :) ... Sungal, you are writing it!

    And if you think Miami is bad, look at what a club in the UK says:

    No effort, No entry. We understand that someone may be the right kind of person for the club but they haven't quite made enough of an effort. In this circumstance you may be issued with a yellow card.

    A yellow card as in a soccer game, as in you have been warned! I always thought it was funny, but very rude. Imagine that happening on your night out?!

  17. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    Does Nikki Beach have a bouncer during the day? Just curious.
    I only go Sundays, but yes, all day.

  18. #58
    Member Maria de los Angeles's Avatar
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    What's a yellow card?

  19. #59
    Travel Advisor fredgarvin's Avatar
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    This thread is making me think about ariel stein and his line about that 'girl' at his table. I don't want ariel stein at my table!

    I think that article a club 'checklist' if you will, is a great idea!

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria de los Angeles
    What's a yellow card?
    LMAO! Prob not best reference to use! It means you have been given a warning. I can't think of an equivalent here, I don't watch sport :lol:

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