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  1. #1
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    While we in the West worry about the price of gas, as if the humble bicycle didn't exist, the Islamic Republic of Islam worries about what kind of seat women should ride. Our "liberated women" wouldn't worry about that simply because they would fear to ride a bike in the first place. Holland is the exception, but statistically they are less than an anomaly. This Iranian guy, definitely pro-Western, ignores that fact and goes on to rally for Western style seat. Does he ignore that "recumbent/pedal forward" bikes come with wide seats that don't have the nose that may give rise to conflict? Does he know those seats may also help save the man's most important appendage, outside of the nose?

    (I QUOTE)

    Down with Islamic Tricycles!
    Down with Islamic Tricycle seats!
    Long live Christian/Western bicycles!
    Long live bicycle seats!
    Riding Christian/Western bicycles is our inalienable right!

    So, how did all of this start? It was only a few days ago when Mohammad Royanian, head of Iran's fuel management and transportation, announced design of bicycles especially made for women. He said, an Islamic Bicycle is being designed that will have the necessary features to protect Muslim women and their values. First of all, someone explain to me what these valuable Muslim women's values are supposed to be that the other women in the world don’t have? But then again, Muslim designers have been hard at work ever since the announcement came out, or as Mohammad himself said, the design was underway already, but the problem with the design of this bicycle is not with the frame, handle bar, the drive mechanism, the wheels, or any other parts of the bicycle, except for the bicycle seat. You see, the modern day, or to be more precise, the Christian/Western style bicycle seats are designed to go in between the legs, right where one "roon" meets another "roon" and form a "koon". In the Christian/Western style bicycles the seat goes smack right where the koon is. It's very unholy! Any time a woman rides a bicycle the seat is right in between her roons, under her koon, and right against her... In front of that koon, there is a... in front of that koon there is a... How can I say it without offending anyone! Well alright! Alright! Right in front of that koon, towards the front of the seat, anytime a woman rides a bicycle there is, there is, there is a cheechee. There, I said it, cheechee, cheechee. Go sue me now.

    http://www.iranian.com/main/blog/mul...cle-vs-bicycle

    ***

    I'm far from endorsing Islamic values, but the fundamental right to ride a bike is more important than the seat. When I see communities where the bikes are commonplace and men and women are respected, I will wholeheartedly endorse freedom.
    Last edited by TheTibetanMonkey; 12-14-2011 at 01:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > Women fear riding bikes here? My daughters and granddaughters ride bikes,
    > no fear. I used to but am too creaky anymore.

    I don't live in the boondocks. This is Miami Beach! Same situation in Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Los Angeles. You do find *areas* that are safe such as beach paths, but not much in the sense of going *everywhere* the way do in a car. People around here are grinding on sidewalks, endangering themselves and pedestrians.

    The Pacific northwest is the exception, also Colorado, I hear. Texas rejected the 3 feet distance for drivers, which means nothing anyway. What we need though is the right of the cyclist to TAKE THE LANE and be respected. Place the blame on the driver who hits a bicycle and punish those who harass cyclists. Enforce safe cycling at the same time and require lights, bright clothing. Issue a license for riding on the road if that will help clean our image. No need to wait for a green light though. Make it easy and safe.

  3. #3
    Preferred Member moltobene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    During the summer I actually saw someone texting while biking... Texting while driving is hard enough ,never mind texting while biking..


    That said, I was once one of those people worrying about the price of gas until my venture to Canada.. Gas there was about 1.71 a liter... I appreciate our prices here in the states...

  4. #4
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Quote Originally Posted by moltobene View Post
    During the summer I actually saw someone texting while biking... Texting while driving is hard enough ,never mind texting while biking..


    That said, I was once one of those people worrying about the price of gas until my venture to Canada.. Gas there was about 1.71 a liter... I appreciate our prices here in the states...
    On the other hand, the cheaper it is the more you feed the Islamic Republics that we despise so much. Having real alternative transportation is tied up to the price of gas. I guess it's too cheap here for people to bother, even though there are many advantages to having bicycles, scooters and Neighborhood Electric Vehicles.

  5. #5
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > Roons? Koons? Cheechees?
    >
    > I knew I should have paid better attention in health class. No wonder I
    > can't keep a girlfriend....
    >
    > Good paddling,
    > desmobob

    I don't know but they must be Persian sacred words to describe pleasure. I don't think a man would ever lose his appendage by riding a beach cruiser seat, but a woman may find some relief in the nose. It must be a woman who's a nymphomaniac of some sort though, the kind I like. Are we afraid to become redundant?

    If you think about the physiology of it, a man riding a *good* seat should have a better erection than the average couch potato. It's all about working out the area and making the blood flow. Perhaps we kayakers need some fun between our legs too to be balanced. Hey, the Hobbies give you the total experience letting you pedal in similar fashion to a recumbent! Are they the best invention since the wheel? While we are not exactly couch potatoes, we may be sitting too much on our ass.

    On the other hand, kayaking is a perfect upper body workout to keep those shoulders strong. After not using my kayaks for a while, I've started having shoulder discomfort that won't go away. Now I have a hard time putting a skirt on, that's a kayak skirt.

    Remember this law of nature: USE IT OR LOSE IT!

    If you can't keep a girlfriend, use the kayak to bait girls. Advertise in Craigslist if you will. "Exotic romantic adventure to islands." Recycle them until you get the right one. I use kayaking to get some isolated islands with my girlfriend and, you know... everything goes. And then I want to learn the didgeridoo to play on those occasions. Many people think we kayakers are boring but, boy, are they wrong! Well, now I'm adding paddle boards to the list of toys, so it's getting even more exciting, challenging and liberating. It's the only time I really feel free!

    Do I sound like I'm selling the lifestyle? Reality sucks, we may as well be creative. Oh, I almost forgot. We take hammocks too! That's a very important part of the Beach Cruiser Philosophy. Hey, it may also sound idyllic but the water of my nearest launching place can be best described as toxic.

    Enjoy now!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16rJx...eature=related
    Last edited by TheTibetanMonkey; 12-15-2011 at 12:33 PM.

  6. #6
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his
    > Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when
    > he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak
    > English.
    >
    > So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and
    > says to the chief, "This is a tree."
    >
    > The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
    >
    > The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and
    > he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
    >
    > Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
    >
    > The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he
    > hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a
    > couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
    >
    > The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."
    >
    > The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills
    > them both.
    >
    > The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years
    > teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how
    > could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
    >
    > The chief replied, "My bike."

    Why so many people are still primitive? 10,000 years of civilization hasn't worked? Were we better off as hunter gatherers? I believe so. You had to know how to handle the axle, but you were fit and strong. No bullshit back then.

    We may blame civilization on the Iranians without doubt.

  7. #7
    Preferred Member moltobene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTibetanMonkey View Post
    On the other hand, the cheaper it is the more you feed the Islamic Republics that we despise so much. Having real alternative transportation is tied up to the price of gas. I guess it's too cheap here for people to bother, even though there are many advantages to having bicycles, scooters and Neighborhood Electric Vehicles.
    Well let's see,you have food in your house? Shirts and pants in your house? Even a computer? All of these tangible items all came from somewhere that involved the use of gas... The bike you ride was assembled and boxed in some facility I assume.. Many trucks travel many hours to bring us these goods we as a country enjoy.
    Not saying the thought is wrong,but we as a country have to be ready to give up everything we enjoy before we take a stance against the use of gas.. If we preach and aren't able to give up these precious things that we all love then we are just people who like to talk..

  8. #8
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Quote Originally Posted by moltobene View Post
    Well let's see,you have food in your house? Shirts and pants in your house? Even a computer? All of these tangible items all came from somewhere that involved the use of gas... The bike you ride was assembled and boxed in some facility I assume.. Many trucks travel many hours to bring us these goods we as a country enjoy.
    Not saying the thought is wrong,but we as a country have to be ready to give up everything we enjoy before we take a stance against the use of gas.. If we preach and aren't able to give up these precious things that we all love then we are just people who like to talk..
    Riding a bike is the most radical action you can take to change the world without going to live in the Everglades. Actually they don't let you camp out in places like that. It's only a hunting ground and a tourist attraction. Your argument is totally foolish because you can choose the path of action that does the least damage to the environment.

    Remember THE REVOLUTION IS ABOUT SOLUTIONS...

    (THE PROBLEM IS MALE IMPOTENCE)

    > Yes, the recumbent position places the least possible pressure on the
    > intervertebral disks. If the disks don't bulge against the nerves, the
    > rider won't experience pain or numbness.

    This is an interesting point since *the revolution is about solutions* and I've got a possible solution.

    This seat...

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...=ATVPDKIKX0DER

    May be a match for a pedal forward bike which I have in mind, similar to this...

    http://www.fortune3.com/daysixbikes/Products-Bikes.html

    I say 'may' because you may start sliding forward or the edge of the seat may cut off blood flow to your legs. Definitely it won't give you impotence.

    Quite possible this could be the very seat the Muslims are looking for.

  9. #9
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > And, pray tell, why should one not publicly affirm god Shiva's
    > immanent love and transcendant reality?

    I love to tease, but I want to stop at confirming energy, whether that energy is a "good vibe" or the energy of the gods.

    I just thought of this UNIVERSAL THEORY given by Tantra and applicable to everyday life.

    You save energy when you hold back male ejaculation and tease your partner into the ultimate big bang. You save energy by riding a bike. You save energy by going vegetarian. You save energy by going solar. You save energy by not wasting your time with the wrong people... You create energy by listening to the right music, dancing or sharing with nature.

    THIS IS THE 'LAW OF ENERGY CONSERVATION' promulgated by the Wise TibetanMonkey, Tantra Master, Chief of Quixotic Enterprises, etc.

    I leave you with something MOTIVATIONAL about bicycling...

    http://www.designboom.com/contest/sl...m_pk=37820&p=1

  10. #10
    Preferred Member moltobene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTibetanMonkey View Post
    Riding a bike is the most radical action you can take to change the world without going to live in the Everglades. Actually they don't let you camp out in places like that. It's only a hunting ground and a tourist attraction. Your argument is totally foolish because you can choose the path of action that does the least damage to the environment.

    Remember THE REVOLUTION IS ABOUT SOLUTIONS...

    (THE PROBLEM IS MALE IMPOTENCE)

    > Yes, the recumbent position places the least possible pressure on the
    > intervertebral disks. If the disks don't bulge against the nerves, the
    > rider won't experience pain or numbness.

    This is an interesting point since *the revolution is about solutions* and I've got a possible solution.

    This seat...

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...=ATVPDKIKX0DER

    May be a match for a pedal forward bike which I have in mind, similar to this...

    http://www.fortune3.com/daysixbikes/Products-Bikes.html

    I say 'may' because you may start sliding forward or the edge of the seat may cut off blood flow to your legs. Definitely it won't give you impotence.

    Quite possible this could be the very seat the Muslims are looking for.

    thank you ,you answered my question..

  11. #11
    Preferred Member moltobene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    [QUOTE=TheTibetanMonkey;109732]Riding a bike is the most radical action you can take to change the world without going to live in the Everglades.

    Radical would be joining a political group lobbying in Washington DC.. Join Al Gore. Start some movement where you live.. Make an uprising with the people..


    I go to work everyday, 60miles both ways.. I have a small car so I contribute ,so I think.. I take company trips which involve Air planes and if I Took a bike from Rhode Island to Florida it would be impossible.. Without gas miamibeach411 couldn't do tours.... I do recycle so I guess I do my part in saving natural resources..

  12. #12
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    [QUOTE=moltobene;109760]
    Quote Originally Posted by TheTibetanMonkey View Post
    Riding a bike is the most radical action you can take to change the world without going to live in the Everglades.

    Radical would be joining a political group lobbying in Washington DC.. Join Al Gore. Start some movement where you live.. Make an uprising with the people..
    "Be the change you want to see in the world" -M. Gandhi

    I've been trying to get a group going but there are no takers. I want to do Miami Beach to Hollywood, the 71 & 96 ST causeways, all of which remain "no man's land." I want to TAKE THE LANE in an organized way without police escort. We report here, and we can do something in front of channel 7.

    Anyone willing?

  13. #13
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > That's very funny, especially considering the fact that special
    > women's seats (or "saddles", as they are called here in the
    > Netherlands) have been put on ladies bicycles (special model of
    > bicycle where the horizontal bar has been moved down towards the bar
    > that goes from the pedals to the handlebars, which allows them to wear
    > long skirts) and have been around for decades.

    We got the second one in the States, but can't see the front of the first one, I figure is round. The problem is that you must do a balancing act between too much slant forward or back. A good nose hardly pinches your area, but still would be an issue with women.

    Someone looks stupid here, either the Iranian clerics or the dissident celebrating the Western seat. Maybe both look stupid.

    I guess I wouldn't be able to sell in Iran my t-shirt that says, "Put some fun between your legs... Ride a Bike!"

    We can put some fun between the legs but don't have *SPACE* to ride a bike!

  14. #14
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    "Iran may have captured U.S. stealth drone by hacking its GPS"

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technolo...030447469.html

    MY COMMENT:

    "This demonstrates the superiority of Iranian engineering. American engineers can't even figure out how to make basic bike lanes that work. They can't even join the dots, since bike lanes are never connected anywhere."

  15. #15
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    > MY COMMENT
    >
    > MOVE TO IRAN, keep your bikes off the road.

    I'm sure we can find a middle ground between America and Iran. There MUST be something that's not radical.

    Are democracy and bicycles really incompatible? Everybody wants to drive, sure, but not all the time, everywhere. Something missing here.

    Can the Chinese engineers enlighten us?

  16. #16
    Moderator Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Monkey... first warning...!

    No ranting please...

  17. #17
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    Quote Originally Posted by Jess View Post
    Monkey... first warning...!

    No ranting please...
    It's called "teasing."

    They play with the mind of the monkey, the monkey plays back with theirs!

  18. #18
    Member TheTibetanMonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Islamic Bicycle vs. Western Bicycle

    They should put a sign in Bal Harbour and Bay Harbor Islands that goes, "We don't want bikes here because we don't want monkeys monkeying around us."

    And I'll be happy with the explanation.

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